Lately almost each one of my late night thoughts have been on my past friendships, and just about friends in general...

And yes I know I made a recent insta poll asking what my next post should be about. Makeup did get most of the votes. But I found myself remembering a very deep memory about a time in my life where the people I surrounded myself with - the people I “vibed” with, were not really my friends. I just feel like I should let these thoughts out and write about them now before they fade away. So, sorry not sorry but yous are getting a deep topic from me today. 

This particular friendship just happened randomly, and just like all things new the start was at its best peak - no bad downfall yet. It was all jokes and giggles, nothing was too serious yet. 

But gradually I found myself feeling isolated and completely on my own. The funny thing is my friend would be right beside me - “on my side”. It was never a good way to feel at all. And speaking up about this issue only seemed to make me out to be  “looking for an issue” - as my so called bestfriend at the time said. And the sad thing was that I believed it, that I was genuinely being “too needy” when all I asking for was for this “friend” to be a friend to me. It’s funny innit, looking back at it now. I put myself through it all for fear of losing someone who was doing nothing but holding me back from prospering. 

Later into the friendship the bond was basically broken. I’d no dependence on my “friend”. I discovered that in order to better myself and to stop feeling as lost as I did, I needed to choose my own path. And on that path I met people who I’m more than proud to call my friends.

Before it was a constant worry about who’s side this person would  take whenever others were around. And tbh I can list piles of examples where I’d bumped heads with a few people and they’d always just stand there and all of a sudden mind their own business. They were neutral. And if not that they’d gang up the person I’d a falling out with. LIKE WHAT?! 

I realised that people can easily say that they’re for you, your grind and well being. But I’m telling you now, if something goes down and what they’re doing doesn’t even match up to their so called “word”. DISTANCE YOURSELF. And on that journey you will find that the right people will start finding a well deserved place in your life. Do it for yourself, because if nothing changes, your the one that’s going to be miserable. 

While your life is flourishing and your on your grind, it’s them wicked ones that will be watching at a distance just observing. You get the occasional upright poisonous ones who will try pop up here and there as a “supporter” - but trust, them bare inputs they make and those nonexistent responses ARE ACTUALLY SAYING LOADSSSS!

Don’t be fooled by these empty promises people bring to the table nowadays. I’ve learned that unless you’ve proved to me that your about your word, your not my friend. SIMPLE. And if you get the impression that I don’t like you..well chances are I probably don’t fam. Your someone I’m friendly with or simply someone I don’t mess with. There’s a major difference in the way I treat people who cherish my presence in comparison to fake company. 

As for that person who made me feel so alone while they claimed they were my “dearest friend”. Thanks a lot, all the struggles and unnecessary stress you made me go through opened my eyes, and now I know how to call out them false prophets. You made me journey on my own and find those true friends who constantly have proved themselves loyal to me in a shorter period of time. (How embarrassing for you) 

Oh and you also gave me some inspiration for this veryyy interesting blog post, thanks a million. 

Enjoy your life, XOXO

Ciao 👋🏽